everything
thinking.

iv been in my room just staring at myself. my sister helped me with my hair to make it more pretty, and more straighten. she told me to look in the mirror, she said do u like how u look, and i knew she wasn’t talking about the hair and i said no. she told be to loose weight and ware makeup. i want to be skinny and i want to be pretty. i dont like how i look, i wanna change that. yes im fat ok? sure im suuuuuper insecure about myself. but now every time i look in the mirror i see what other people see. a fat non pretty girl. she basily told me to change everything about my-self, my diet, what i do when i get home, exercise, all that shiz. and on top of that i think about school and how im failing everything. and guys, not one of them look at me like they want me or at least look at me like regular girls do. i rub the scars on my arm and just think. im not happy with myself at all. 

looking back at photos from 4 months ago

i realized that im a fat and ugly ass xD 

x-x

well my aunt has a Jacuzzi and we wanted to go into the hot tub. I put my swim suit on and it was….no mucho bueno x10000 meaning fat as fuck lol. >.< now Ima try and work out when I’m bored or have nothing to do. I don’t want to be that girl while everyone is in The Jacuzzi and I’m in sweats and a sweatshirt on tumblr and hearing all the laughter and fun there having :x I don’t want to be that girl anymore…

THIS -.-

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